What a year 2006 was.
For me, it was a roller coaster ride. More roller-coaster-y than 2005, for sure.
January saw me in Munich, meeting other Learning n Development Managers from Europe, Americas and a couple of HR managers from the Dubai and China offices. Met the big boss for the first time. Connected also with the man who would eventually become MY manager, Georg. Munich was beatiful in Winter. Sat through a video on Dianetics at the Scientology center. Bought the book – still havent read it 🙂
February was the beginning of my search for a new job within my current organization. Lots of emails and phone calls followed. I participated in a Cha no yu for the first time. What an enlightening experience, that Japanese tea ceremony. I’ve posted my thoughts on that here
March had me traveling again – to Saigon. Interesting city. Opened up to someone for the first time tha I can remember. He picked up on my remark when I said to him that I’d lost my spirit and enjoyment in my job and gently urged me to talk about it, rather than continue keeping things bottled up. It led to a very memorable night. One of the keys to how I saw things and experienced 2006, actually.
April brought me to Singapore. Celebrated my birthday in a training program. Experienced the first of my many bouts of coughs and chest infections that led to Bronchitis. Choked on a huge mother of a lozenge while alone one evening in my hotel room. Fucking scary it was – I felt the thing lodged in my throat, poured water down my throat to wash it down and the water just trickled out of my mouth! I started pounding my own chest like my life depended on it (wait a tic – actually, it did) and the lozenge flew out and fell on the floor in front of me. Funny? Not really. I cried after that, thinking that if I had totally choked on it and died, no one would find out until Thursday evening’s group graduation dinner.
May brought me new work. I’d be doing what I normally do, but in a new division. It saw me traveling to Bangkok a couple of times, discussed work details with my new boss, who joined a meeting there. An OK beginning. The month also saw my first experience with a tailor. They did a perfect job. Worth every sen. I wear the suits and shirts to death, and they still look respectable and brand-new. Definitely recommend them to my anyone. I learned more about myself than about anything else throughout this. I had to really be clear about what I want, what I needed, and make tough decisions – should I go for the more expensive fabric that had the right combo of durability, comfort and good looks? Or follow my original budget? I had to ask myself difficult questions: what to sacrifice in order to spend a bit more for the suits? What decisions do I let the tailor make for me? Which ones do I have a say on, no questions asked? I learnt how to listen to customers and asking the right questions. It was more than a day at the tailor for me.
June saw me resuming my romance with Bangkok and Muay Thai training. I was glad to be able to resume training on Thai Kickboxing, even though my legs got pretty busted and scarred from all the kicking drills. Thank goodness for the invention of panty hose – good cover up. Met up with friends who were vacationing, joined them, and had great fun. Love the city. The architecture. The train systems. Chatuchak weekend market. More importantly, DOC. The month also saw me giving myself a personal stretch goal for the first time. 16 hours of GX classes for charity. Miracle event at the gym. I never thought I could last but I did. I really felt I achieved something then. I began to feel that I was finally worth of my own approval.
July was when I landed in Phuket again for another training workshop to run. It was the first (and the last, looks like) time we ran a workshop in full sports gear. We used the lush grounds of the hotel as much as the lovely meeting rooms. Great value for money. They gave me the villa again – but I was feeling restless inside. Kept on thinking and feeling how great the villa would be if I had someone special to share it with. To come home to.
The only thing I remember about August was DOC – contacting me for the first time after Bangkok. We never promised to keep in touch, so it came as a pleasant surprise.
September/October was work, work, work. Was in Munich for a month for a get-to-know-the new team assignment. Strangely, for the first time I question my purpose to be here. To be in this field. To remain in the area of training and development. I felt lost. Confused. Thrown off balance. DOC flew to Munich to spend a weekend with me. We didnt do much – no day trips to Ludwig’s castle or anything like that – just a walk in the English Gardens and lunch in Marienplatsz, dinners in the lovely little Italian restaurant on the ground floor of the hotel and lazing around on the couch and in bed watching CNN and BBC (the only channels that were not in Deutsch). We talked a lot. We sat together quietly a lot too. For the first time also I start to ask myself what do I really want in my life and what will I do about it.
November was Hong Kong. It was the graduation dinner of the final management development group; it was the evening where I wore my skirt as a dress cos it got too big and tent-like. It saw me decked out in an LBD and a bit of makeup and simple jewelery, with black stockings and 3″ heels. I never knew I could ‘do’ sexy! *LOL* But if P can be believed, apparently I pulled it off….
December was finally, a relaxed month. I truly enjoyed the 2 weeks I was away from the office. I went to the gym, chilled out, gave my apartment a good fixer-upper, and turned it into my sanctuary. A place I call home. DOC’s advice was a good one – mood lighting is necessary to create the right ambience. Christmastime saw a few parties and dates. Met EF – charming and cheeky. Seriously – physical attraction was there. I was surprised – I never thought a man would be physically attracted to me. Never happened before, when I 25kgs heavier that’s for sure. And DS – such love and devotion to his woman. I learned a lesson here on how having clarity of vision and how envy would bring me nowhere. Instead of moaning and groaning of how unfair the world is treating singles like me, I decided to be objective, and took a small risk. To never lose hope and faith in love and connection between 2 human beings that create such warmth and tenderness and joy. That helped me be very clear with what I wanted for that one evening. I needed comfort from a friend and DS was there to provide it; bless his soul.
It’s January 2007 now, and already I need to put my plan into gear. First, time to get my career on track. Take some risks. Make new friends. Expand my horizons. And live. It’s time to live.