I had the dream again last night.
It’s dark, probably night time. A young woman with long straight black hair is hanging from a lamp post by a lonely roadside. No one is about. I ask myself – was this the work of a lynch mob? Did she commit suicide? I dont know. I cant see her face because her hair covers it. I’m watching from many angles; sometimes I’m standing on the ground, looking up as she sways very lightly in the evening breeze. Sometimes I’m approaching her from an angle in the sky, where I see her bent head first and the knots forming the noose around her neck. Sometimes it’s a silent nightmare. Sometimes, after a few moments of silence, I will hear a scream. When I hear it, I will know that someone is very afraid. And then I will feel very helpless, because I can hear someone is in trouble but I cant find her – I cant help her.
No matter how different the bad dream is, it will always end the same way. I’d move closer and see the woman’s face. The breeze will lift her hair and reveal her face. I will then see that the face is mine. The dead eyes will be open, looking right back at me.
Now whenever I close my eyes I will see her. I even see her as I write these words. I never knew nightmares can occur even when youre awake. I wish I could sleep with my eyes open so that I will never see her again.