Salsa, Boy-boy and light sabers

No Salsa classes for the current week or two (it’s Salsa, not Nausea, anyway).

BB is having his exams now, and I’m happy that his first paper on Monday was all right. He’s not too thrilled about today’s paper, the system engineering one – but when I told him that going through the exam is better than being dead, he stopped complaining (he he he) Unfortunately, it works both ways – he wont let me say anything about being middle-aged to his youthful 24 – he just uses my retort and reminds me that hey, I’m alive! Smart aleck.

So far, it has not been a one night stand (who has the energy to stand for the whole night, you tell me?) and interestingly, some of his friends are treating me like an Agony Aunt of sorts. One has an issue with an ex-girlfriend, who’s calling and texting him with updates on an early pregnancy that she is so confident was caused by a certain activity that they both indulged in, a week after they broke up. Apparently, my “they have phone help lines and counseling services for these” didnt stop him from telling me how much sleep he’s losing over this issue. He’s totally confident that the baby’s not his (a certain Michael Jackson song is playing at the back of my mind – is it Billie Jean?) and since a planned trip to a clinic for a D&C appointment did not happen, the boy’s freaking out. She’s threatening to tell her mom, his mom, his grandma, and face it – txt messages that read “congratulations, u r still a dad” are creepy to me. When he asked her what she wanted from him (marriage, money, a hold-her-hand while she’s at the clinic, another romp in the hay) she couldnt answer. He asked for suggestions and mine were:

  1. Ignore her for 12 hours. Leave the phone calls unanswered, messages unreturned
  2. Ignore her for another 12 hours. See how that goes
  3. Call her bluff. It’s time to step up as a man and be very firm with his belief that it’s not his, if he truly is 100% confident about it. Face the family. Ask for support. Blood CAN be thicker than water.

If no resolution is in sight still, I suppose I can offer to them my wire hanger-wielding skills. At least that would prompt SOME action. Last that I heard, he told me that she told him that she needs now to check with HER ex (no, I didnt check for the order of appearance of the cast members) before she makes another appointment at the baby clinic.

Moral of the story? Use condoms.

But seriously, folks –

I struggle to fight the urge to put my hands into this mess of a vindaloo. I honestly feel like going to the girl and just taking her to get a proper check-up and then getting her view of this. Find out her map of her territory. What’s the situation now, what she feels about this, what she wants to do, how she wants to do it. Even if she really is the befuddled airhead that she’s being made out to appear, there’s still a tiny little life growing in her belly and that life needs to be considered. Get her to see what will be in store for her future should she decide to keep the baby (my earlier suspicion was that she was not even pregnant) . I want her to see how having a baby now and raising this child will impact her life, her daily activities. Then I will get her to decide what to do.

But why is this keeping me awake on this Wednesday morning? It’s because children are such gifts – I have friends who have done everything they could to have their own bundle of joy, but no success. My heart breaks for the baby’s soul everytime a tiny lifeless body is found abandoned in bathrooms or in the trash (what an outrage!) and also for the young mum, who in her time of need, felt that she had no one to turn to. To feel most alone during this time is not an envied feeling. That’s why I told the friend to go back to the family. Call her bluff. Create your support system. Growing old is compulsory (many would object, naturally) but growing up is optional. Muzukashi, neh? Difficult, but a necessary step to take, this growing up. Decisions need to be made. It’s not about just one person, or even two (the young man and woman) – this decision now involves a tiny little soul.

Children – so precious. I know my brother watches his daughters sleep so that he can remember how peaceful they are while they are sleeping and how fiercely he feels that his responsibility as a father is to ensure that his children get the best things in life.

If all else fails, I’ll still have my wire clothes-hanger. I’ll wield THAT like a light saber and scare them into making a wise decision!


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