Sometimes, borrowing other people’s words help to explain more clearly what I mean. Today, I will borrow Dr Randy Pausch’s words, from his book, The Last Lecture.
“The questions are always more important than the answers.”
That’s so true – because I believe the best answers are the ones that hits you between the eyes like a hockey puck although not as hazardous; stuff that you realise yourself. I tend to answer questions by asking questions, especially at work. I love to see the A-HA! moment when the realisation dawns on people’s faces that they have found a great potential solution to their issue. The ownership is there, and after the eureka moment, there’s a spring to their step as they go off to tackle their to-do-list monster.
There are also the people I work with who do not respond well to this approach. Then I will see their face redden a little while they furrow their eyebrows and roll their eyes. Stop being too pedantic, they tell me. Just give a straight answer, they say. I tried, but with my deepest apologies, it’s just more tiring to think for other people in that manner.
“Fundamentals, fundamentals, fundamentals. You’ve got to get the fundamentals down because otherwise the fancy stuff isn’t going to work.”
Many times I struggled with things because I didn’t see the big picture. Didn’t ask the question behind the question. Didn’t have my own EUREKA! moment of the general idea before rushing off to plan activities and take actions. Remembering this statement calms me. I have renewed strength in my decisions that relate to this statement. Like not buying a DSLR within the next 60 days because I’m just having too much time learning the fundamentals on my Powershot SX100 point-and-shooter.
However, there are times when I confess I may have deliberated too much because of a skewed perception of what forms fundamentals. Sometimes I don’t see the line between analysis paralysis and I then end up not doing the nike (just do it). I don’t have many regrets, but there are at least 2 actions that I should have taken within the last 24 hours that would have put me on a different path than where I am right at this moment. But no. I mistakenly thought I was still in data-gathering mode that will end once I feel I have enough to grasp the fundamentals. I forgot that data-gathering mode is a continuous process in most cases. And now, I’ll never know what could have been, and perhaps I never will.
“My colleague told me: “It took a long time, but I finally figured it out. When it comes to men who are romantically interested in you, it’s really simple. Just ignore everything they say and only pay attention to what they do.”
This one’s funny. Funny weird and funny ha-ha. I just have one important thing to mention here. Based on what I’ve seen, no matter how much their words appear to contradict their actions, they’ll still find a way to tell you that they don’t really mean what they did, it’s what they say that matters. And no amount of crying will change that.
“When you’re screwing up and nobody says anything to you anymore, that means they’ve given up on you.”
I’m doing that to someone in my life right now. Because I’ve given up on him. It’s very rare that I’ve given up on someone, but when I do, there’s just no turning back.
“Find the best in everybody. Wait long enough, and people will surprise and impress you. It might even take years, but people will show you their good side. Just keep waiting.”
I thought I could do that. I didn’t realise the cost of waiting. Maybe someone should write about that.
“The key question to keep asking is, Are you spending your time on the right things? Because time is all you have and you may find one day that you have less than you think.”
I know I said I’d wait. I didn’t know that it’s so easy to get comfortable with the routine and some would never come round to realising that what they’re looking for is right there, in front of them. My bags are packed and I am ready to take off on the next part of the journey. If you don’t feel that it’s worth your time to take the initiative and just touch the sky with me, then so be it.
So be it.